Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding—sometimes referred to as Stockholm Syndrome—is a psychological phenomenon that occurs in abusive or controlling relationships. It describes how victims can form powerful emotional attachments to their abusers, even when the relationship is deeply unhealthy or harmful.

A classic example: Subrina’s mother. Despite intrusive and unsettling behaviors, such as insisting her adult daughter share her bed, the mother also provides “required cups of tea”—soothing rituals that temporarily ease tension. These small acts of comfort aren’t random; they’re a core part of trauma bonding.

The mechanism works like this: periods of cruelty, manipulation, or boundary violations are unpredictably interrupted by warmth, affection, or care. This intermittent kindness makes the moments of comfort feel especially meaningful, confusing the victim and reinforcing attachment. The victim begins to associate relief and care with the very person causing them distress, hoping for more kindness and feeling grateful or loyal to the abuser. Over time, this unpredictable cycle creates a powerful psychological trap, making it extremely difficult for the victim to see the relationship clearly or to leave—even when outsiders recognize the abuse.